I can't sleep and it's 2 in the morning now.I messed up my mind with thinking too much especially about my work.And my tummy not helping me at this time.I'm hungry!!
I don't know why I'm out of my mind lately.There's so much things I want in my life in a short time like having a car, buy a laptop, get new phone, ride a million miles away from here, and quit my job.It's like I want to give myself the best or the last treat because I'm afraid if I can't make it through this life (die to soon).I know it sounds crazy.Maybe the pressure of life seems to high day by day and I always push myself so hard all of the time to get things done make my mind working up side down.I mean, I really take life seriously until I not give myself time to relax,enjoy or treat myself nicely and that's burn out my mental and physical.
To tell the truth, I ever think to kill myself.Maybe if I don't have a lil faith in me,I already gone from this world now.But suicide not the answer for me eventhough sometimes I feel like I can't make it through anymore.Last year I received some news that my old friend was dead by hanging himself.It a shock news for me especially my brother because he's my brother former schoolmate also a friend too.We both are very upset to know that.But I'm not going to judge people life,because we exactly don't know how much problem their facing..and it will kill slowly.I just hoping he have a lil trust in life and a lil stronger to face all the problems,maybe he can make it and not end up like that.
So no matter how hard life is, I hope I can through it with a smile on my face,because I always believe there's a day..maybe someday better things will come to me.But for now,I have to clear my mind.I think I need a vacation and motivation is a needed.
I dedicate this song to anyone who's been through a rough time lately..and of course fr myself too.